Letting Children Fly Free (Temple Beth Or)
The 22nd chapter of Deuteronomy contains a commandment that is very brief, but that has been discussed at great length by Jewish commentators. Verses 6 and 7 of this chapter read: If you come across a bird’s nest beside the road, either in a tree or on the ground, and the mother is sitting on the young or on the eggs, do not take the mother with the young. You may take the young, but be sure to let the mother go, so that it may go well with you and you may have a long life. This mitzvah (which comes to be known as shiluach ha-ken, ‘the sending off of the nest’) represents one of the more important statements of Jewish ethics in the Torah.
Most classical biblical commentators (especially those in medieval times) felt that this passage had a very clear meaning. Their standard explanation for it was that it represented a moral imperative, similar to the injunction against cooking a kid in its mother’s milk. They took it to remind us that even though we are permitted to take animals for food, we need not cause them gratuitous suffering. This was the response, for instance, of Nachmanides (a well-known 13th century commentator), who said:
“The reason [for this commandment] is that we should not have a cruel heart and be unmerciful, and [also it is meant] to clarify that the Torah does not permit slaughter of animals that would destroy a species…and so is the case with one who kills a mother [bird] and the children in one day or takes them when they are freely flying about, that this is akin to destroying the species.”
As Nachmanides explains, the crux of this mitzvah is the specific sentiment that one must send the mother bird away from the nest for the good of an entire species. On top of that, the Torah promises that one who follows this commandment will enjoy a long life.
At this time of year, I am compelled to connect this verse to something a bit different. We are currently in the season of graduations, and in this context these verses can take on a new depth. Reflecting on this passage, I am reminded that our youth are often best able to grow when they too are sent from the “nest.” Additionally, while this commandment certainly was not talking about children (or birds!) who graduate, it seems aware of the reality that peoples’ fates may be best helped when all people can seek prosperity in the places most fitting for them.
This summer, as many of our long time Temple Beth Or students go their own ways and pursue education—both Jewish and secular—beyond the walls of our synagogue and the borders of our city, I find it constructive to reflect on how this also can be a manner of shiluach ha-ken.
A reflection of some modern interpreters of Jewish law may help us to understand this idea even better. According to all sources, to perform this mitzvah, one must first send off the mother bird and then afterward remove the eggs from her nest. However, according to such interpreters, one may then put the eggs back into the nest and to allow the mother to come back and tend to them. I think this idea provides a great parallel for us in tending to our own children. The shiluach—the sending-off—that we sometimes must permit need not be the final word in our ethical duty. Judaism considers it important both to allow our young to spread their wings, and also to welcome them back home.
As we celebrate graduations, and as we allow each other to find our own paths forward, we ought to remain committed to finding ways that families can reconnect; in doing so, we may be able to create stronger and more enduring connections with each other. As we move into summer, I wish all of you who may be graduating or moving to new places in life the best of luck. Whether you are moving to new opportunities within Dayton or you are going to opportunities elsewhere, you will always be welcome back in your Temple Beth Or nest!